Waiting for the Right Time Mission #6

Finding the perfect black mini skirt.

It’s Friday! Dare I say it’s also payday? Let’s do a little shopping. 

TLDR; In this newsletter each week, I tackle something I’ve been avoiding. Or, waiting for the right time to execute.

Mission: Find the perfect black mini skirt

I am on a quest to find the perfect mini skirt. It’s been listed on my “Things I Want” note on my phone for months. Somewhere between my Gilmore Girls binge-watching and TikTok’s latest wave of “fall fashion inspo” videos, I have officially been convinced that early 2000s fashion is what I’ve been missing out on my entire life. The black mini skirt will revolutionize my closet. (Lots of high hopes riding on this short hem.)

The mini skirt was a hallmark of that time, and I have to say the ladies were rocking it. Nylon has a listicle dedicated to celebrity styling of the micro skirt in the early 2000s. There are some gems here, namely Halle Berry in 2001. 

But while this is the very picture of glam, the strappy heel, bedazzled belt combo has very few use cases in my life. Instead, I’m hoping to channel the pinnacle of style: 1997-2001 rom coms. You know the one: Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity. 

(You know the vibes.)

The girls on TikTok are working overtime to bring the skirt back to its glory days. “Styling a black mini in nine different ways!” will pop up on my feed at least once a week. The Amazon storefront shills are peddling their finds like traveling salesmen. This video was the one that finally broke me. The ever-so-slightly sheer tights, cable knit sweater, and leathery boots combination pushed me from “this would be a nice to have” to “I will stop at nothing to get my hands on this.” 

Easy right? Every retailer must have some version of this very simple-to-produce garment. Wrong. I have searched far and wide for the perfect skirt. My findings are bleak.

Here were my stipulations:

It needs to be black.

The color must be right. Business casual at the club is all the rage right now (blazers, wide leg trousers). But I refuse to wear a grey pencil skirt anywhere. Pinstripes? Forget about it. This isn’t Mad Men or the offices of Alex Hanna’s law firm. 

The material needs to be right. 

To achieve this particular look, a silk material wouldn’t do. As for jersey skirts, I am vehemently against reliving my bodycon glory days. While knitted material is definitely tempting for reaching the ultimate cozy vibes, it wouldn’t translate well into other seasons. And I can already feel the denim minis Paris Hilton was rocking in 2001 restricting my leg’s every move. What is left is some version of the pencil skirt brought into the modern era.

I will never forgive 14-year-old me.

It needs to fit. 

I have spent the day in a short skirt wondering if I’m flashing every passerby walking behind me. I have paid my dues. So, I’m not looking for micro, but perhaps a bit above the knee. And calling back to my campaign against bodycon, I’d like it to have breathing room and definitely enough space for tights. 

The hunt

I started my search at the thrift stores. So, we began with a strong aura of delusion. (The thrifts rarely have bottoms in larger sizes that aren’t cargo shorts or terrible denim.) After looking longingly at the few black mini skirts I found in the size 2 section, I settled for trying on a black denim mini skirt and a more Corporate America number. (Already compromising on my values.) They were a no-go. 

Of course, the natural progression of my search warranted a visit to my favorite TJ Maxx. I visited this store about three times over three weeks, in hopes they’d roll out additional skirts in their inventory. They had faux leather skirts, suede ones, skirts in the wrong color (yellow plaid). This only confirms my theory that you cannot go into a TJ Maxx with your own agenda. It sets it for you.

It was time for the big guns: the mall. I could cross-check across a few different stores here. I tried H&M first. The black skirt I brought into the dressing room barely made it past thigh level. Then I hit American Eagle, Express, Old Navy, the Christian Girl Autumn store across from it, and its cousin Francesca’s. I even took a quick glimpse at Macy’s. The mall has remained perpetually trapped in the trend cycle of 2019, which is a rant for another time. I left with my head hung low (and a pair of AE sweatpants). 

And so we reached my last resort: online shopping. I scoured every video for the inevitable comment, “where is this skirt from!” The TikTok influencers seem to be getting theirs from the same few dealers: Reformation, Princess Polly, and Amazon. The latter is out of the question for me. But I’d never shopped at the other two, so I typed them in a decidedly, “Why the hell not” mood. I found the exact style I was looking for almost immediately, but to no one’s surprise, they only go up to a size 12. 

Abercrombie’s black skirts for the season leaned all the way into the girl boss side of this trend—they combined a suit jacket with a skirt which should be outlawed in all 50 states.

I’d recently seen a lot of buzz around J Crew’s new fall line so I figured I’d take a look. But their offerings were navy blue and corduroy.

At this point, I was ready to phone it in. Perhaps the cards have spoken, and black mini skirts are not meant for girls bigger than a size 12 who will not compromise on their fashion rules. I’ve spent most of my life being told by retail stores that their fashionable garments weren’t made for someone like me. It was just another trend I’d probably never get to participate in. 

But I’d be lying if I said every time I struck out these past few weeks it wasn’t disappointing. It’s like watching a supercut of some younger version of myself in the same dressing room under fluorescent lighting, getting let down over and over.

And then I found it. Djerf Avenue, the brainchild of 25-year-old Swedish influencer Matilda Djerf. It’s 74% recycled polyester, 21% viscose, 5% elastane (perfect). High-waisted and with a slit? Check. Sizes go up to 3XL. And as the site states, “It is designed with comfort in mind and has a looser fit.” Turns out, when every American brand has failed you, there is a Swedish 20-something ready to save the day. I also bought it on sale ($89). 

No word on whether this skirt will finally fulfill all my Meg Ryan hopes for my fall wardrobe. But I dream that I’ll be donning her for at least five years to come (I’m determined to get that cost per wear down). 

On a scale of waiting for the right time to facing my dread, I would say this week is Clothing Stores Need to Do Better.

P.